With online dating, it’s much easier to hook up with a woman. But the problem is, you have a limited visual idea of what she is like. Here is a classic case. You check out her profile and then you send her a message. She replies. You talk about things online and you really click. You’re having so much fun getting to know her online that you decide to ask for her number. She gives it to you and you call her up to setup a date. You agree to meet up for coffee the following week.

Now comes the sad part. She isn’t what you expected her to be. The date was awkward and uncomfortable not at all like your conversations online. So when the night ends, you decide that you don’t want to see her again. How do you do it? This is a very hard thing to do, after all turning someone down can greatly hurt one’s feelings.

The hard truth is that this case happens a lot of times in the dating world. Whether you met her online or not. You could usually tell after the first date if there’s chemistry or not so it is up to you to end it once it doesn’t.

Before telling you what to do, first here are a few things that you should never ever do if you don’t happen to click with a woman.

Don’t say that you will call and then never call. A lot of men think that they can get away with that excuse. Nor should you tell her that you’ll be busy the coming days and you’ll hook up again once the schedule allows it. Also, don’t make plans for the coming days then stop your correspondence altogether. And lastly, don’t finalize plans for dates if you don’t intend to honor them.

You see the main point is that you should never leave a woman hanging or should you lead them on. You can’t escape all the drama that rejection entails so it would do you no good to just disappear. Just accept the fact that she will be hurt but it will be better for both of you once you’ve done it. Be a man about it.

So here are some things that you could do to turn down a woman properly:

Give the right reason

When turning someone down, you should make it clear that it is the lack of chemistry between you and she is the reason that you don’t want to see her again. Don’t demean yourself with the “It’s not you it’s me” crap. We both know that isn’t true. And don’t try rejecting a girl by listing all of the things that you find wrong with her. Don’t tell her that it’s the reason even if it is. All people have faults, even you.

Use the “right person” argument

You could also say that you want BOTH of you to find the “right” person to be with so you don’t want to waste her time because you know it’s not you. She’ll see that instead of wasting her time hoping that you might like her someday, she’s better off looking for that someone right now.

Be clear

Don’t be vague about the reasons. Don’t tell her that you’re at a place in your life where blah blah blah. Also, don’t leave the impression that there may come a time when you’ll grow to like her but not right now. None of that crap alright? Make it clear to her that you will not change your mind so she’ll understand that your decision was firm and final.

Ask her about her feelings

Mostly this is for closure. Women would want to have their side heard. Just ask her what she feels so she could let it out and move on. You don’t want her hurt grow over time with you none the wiser. Trust me you don’t.

Don’t be afraid to do so. No chemistry after a first date isn’t that unheard of. It’s just that you owe it to your date to show a little honesty. I mean if the situation was reversed, you wouldn’t want to be lead on now, would you?