Dating starts out innocently enough. Then it progresses into something more serious like a steady relationship. But is that the end? We know it’s not. We take the risky business of being involved in a relationship because all of us, even those stubborn ones who always deny it, look for the possibility of true love.

Real love is very hard to find. In fact, if you’re unfortunate enough you may not find it at all. It is so rare that most of us don’t recognize it even if it’s staring at us at the face. Well that’s not so surprising. But the fact is, being clueless about love in a relationship could greatly hamper it. So be mindful of the signs when actual “true love” is in the air.

As always, it starts with a bit of self reflection. The ability to love truly isn’t as impulsive as everyone thinks. Yes, a little spontaneity and impulsiveness is needed but you must also be able to keep a clear head. What I’m saying is this:

Loving someone means that you are able to share a part of yourself to someone, someone who will complement your being in every way. You cannot do this if you, yourself, have no clear idea about your identity. So reflect. Are you in a state wherein you know what you want, how to get there and have a secure sense of self-identity? If you do, then you will find it a lot easier and a lot less complicated to be able to give a part of yourself to another person.

Relationship-wise, there are also a lot of things that you could look at to determine if what you and your partner have is real love. First thing is communication.

It’s a no-brainer for me to say that communication is very important when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship. But as with all things, there are different levels of communication and not every couple enjoys all of it.

Your level of communication is a good gauge of seeing the possibility of true love. A couple in love is comfortable enough to share and talk about crucial matters like finances, goals in life or the future. It pales compare to knowing only his favorite food or her favorite movie.

You are also open about your feelings. Being in love means that you don’t feel any repression when it comes to expressing excitement, joy, disappointment or anger. Your partner accepts all of these and manages to come to a compromise in order to protect your relationship. If you constantly feel like hiding something from your significant other in fear of rejection, then you would do well to rethink the whole relationship over.

Not only are you open, you are also honest. You do not doubt your partner because you know that he or she is trustworthy. And you do not express this blindly. It comes from trying and testing your relationship first. You believe what the other one says because they haven’t given you any reason to believe otherwise. If your relationship suffers an even of cheating or constant lying, then true love may nowhere be near.

You could also look at your level of intimacy. Couples in real love are literally crazy about each other. They have a very healthy sex life and really connect to each other physically as well as emotionally. You constantly make each other laugh and you enjoy each other’s company. True intimacy stems from such circumstances.

Lastly, you recognize each other. You recognize that you are both imperfect but still accept each other for who they really are. You listen to each other’s viewpoints and you gravitate to their interests. Love in relationships doesn’t exist within the stubbornness to impose on rigid standard of character but rather in each other’s flexibility to work with a man or a woman’s eccentricities, strengths and weaknesses.

This is what love is all about. Respect, intimacy and communication. If you have all of these in your relationships then do me a favor and don’t mess it up. But if you always feel cheated of such, it’s better for you to start looking somewhere else.